Ineptitude Strikes Again

I’d like to blame the third trimester of pregnancy, commonly referred to as “pregnancy brain” to be the reason. If not that, then maybe fatigue…I mean, we did just power through a crazy month of building our goat shed and then I had to make the 3-hour drive (each way) to get the goats and bring them home. Plus on top of all the regular small homestead chores, there’s the new chore of bottle-feeding an infant goat three times a day, including that insane hour of o’dark thirty. Oh, and let’s not forget that Baby #4 likes to use my bladder as a punching bag, especially when I’m trying to get some shuteye at night. Easily four to six bathroom trips every.single.night.

So yes…pregnancy brain + fatigue could be to blame.

Except that this isn’t an isolated incident of ineptitude. Oh no, kitchen incompetence and I–we go way back. There was that one time when I baked up some ham and cheese crescent rolls for my kids’ lunch. Kinda. They only need about 10 minutes to cook. But after 40 minutes, I realized that the oven wasn’t even on.

Or maybe that time when I was trying to boil some pasta and the water wasn’t even warm after 20 minutes. Probably because I had the wrong eye turned on. I’d be lying if I said that only happened once.

There’s also that time that I started dumping ingredients into the crock pot to start on some chicken tortilla soup to surprise my husband with one of his favorite meals. I had the water and I had 1/2 an onion. But I didn’t have any broth or canned tomatoes or beans, oh, I didn’t have any chicken either. But what I did have was a crockpot of water and 1/2 an onion.

Oh sure, there are many times when I cook up something and hit it out of the ballpark. I mean, I used to sell my cheesecakes at an organic farmers market years ago for crying out loud!

But, this skill of mine, or lack thereof, this total ineptitude and I, we just can’t be separated for long. It likes to humble me every so often. Today, in fact, it showed up and reminded me that I will never be fully liberated from this demon.

Today  is was egg-cooking day.

I love to use my Instant Pot to make “hard-boiled” eggs. They cook up perfectly in 7 minutes or less. And with fresh eggs, they even peel perfectly. My IP egg-inserts allow me to cook 14 eggs at a time. So I loaded the bad boy up and set her on manual for 7 minutes.

It only takes us nine or ten days to get a ridiculous amount of eggs stored up in our refrigerator before I have to start cooking up eggs left and right to make room. I try to limit the number of eggs in our fridge to under 100 at any given time. Seriously. I just said that. One hundred eggs. No joke. That’s less than a two-week supply of fresh eggs.

Today I had 90+ eggs and decided to make a dozen or so hard boiled eggs and possibly make a frittata or omelets for dinner tonight to bring the egg count down a little. Usually on egg-cooking days, I will end up cooking somewhere in the neighborhood of 40-50 eggs. Today was supposed to be an egg-cooking day for me.

As I was washing the eggs to put in the IP, I noticed that it had started snowing. As I finished setting the IP, I called one of my boys to help me go out and check on the goats. I wanted to make sure the little ones were not still playing in the yard. We opened the front door and looked over to see all four goats standing just inside their shed and looking out. They saw us, and all came running to the gate. They are so stinking cute! I love how social they are and how excited they are to see us. Well, instead of going out to play with them, we turned right around and went back inside…thinking they would return to the shed.

Ten minutes later, they were still waiting for us by the gate. In the snow. {Sigh}. I gave it a couple more minutes, and when I looked out again, I saw that they were no longer at the gate, but instead were now standing on the picnic table and watching for us to come out. So the boy and I bundled up again and went out to them. I took them some sweet grain to convince them to stay in the barn. They gladly started nibbling on that. But when we attempted to leave, they followed us again. So we had to lock them in the shed. They were unhappy with this decision.

We came inside, just in time for me to hear the buzzer on my washing machine. So I went to the basement to tend to the perpetual cycle of laundry.

About that same time I noticed my disabled son needed a change of clothes/diaper, so I had to take care of that. Then I had to take out the trash. Then I came upstairs to answer a few emails.

Do you see what’s happening here?

Well, I was on my computer upstairs and suddenly felt incredibly tired. So I laid down on the bed for a few minutes. Trust me, with three boys in the house, especially one in particular that is extremely high maintenance and demanding (no names ahem but pictured below), I knew it would literally be only a few minutes. I woke up to see a cracker on my belly and this boy beside me holding an empty cracker box.


I have no idea how long I laid down for. But I got up and piddled around with a couple of things and then made my way downstairs, wondering, what is that horrid smell?

And then I saw this:


The Instant Pot showing me that it had been in the low setting, or keep warm setting, for 1 hour and 28 minutes. For the 14 eggs I set in there to cook for SEVEN minutes…um, an hour and half ago I suppose.


I unplugged it and hesitated. But I knew I had to do it. In hindsight I wish I had taken it outside first. But I didn’t. I opened the lid.

There are no words to describe the aroma of eggs that have cooked for precisely 1 hour and 35 minutes.

I will say that despite it being only 40 degrees outside today, the kitchen windows are open and essential oils are diffusing.

After thinking about how to deal with this mess, I decided the best thing would be to peel the eggs and give them to the dog.

The eggs had an interesting burnt-tan color. But on the bright side, they peeled out of the shells flawlessly except for one that cracked open during cooking.


Y’all, I cannot describe the smell. I love words. But there just are no words to give justice to adequately describe it to you. You’re welcome.


So I peeled them all and took them out to the pup. Even he hesitated at first, but eventually he ate every last one of them. All fourteen eggs.


I’m sorry Levi, because I know they will come back with a vengeance later. Oh and by the way, I’m really glad you’re an outside dog.

I’m not so sure I’m in the mood for a frittata or omelets for dinner tonight. Maybe another night.

Thanks for stopping by today. I need to hurry up and get my to-go order in to the corner cafe in time for the hubs to bring home dinner tonight. 😉

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Yvonne says:

    this is hilarious! LOVE your writings. Hang in there girlfriend….

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Anna J says:

    Lol. You’ve got a lot going on and it’s totally understandable! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s